hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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