a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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