How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
