Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
