I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
