we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
