Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
