Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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