I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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