Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
