Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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