i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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