I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
