did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
