Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
