I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
