He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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