so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
