I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
