Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize