Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
