Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize