So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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