We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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