i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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