A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
