You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize