so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
