I look better un-naked...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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