come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
