You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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