Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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