He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
