We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
