woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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