Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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