1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Couch. On fire.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
