Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
