I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
