Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am never drinking with the goths again.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
