U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
