Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
