The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
