I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
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I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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