let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
