I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
