Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
