girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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