i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
