google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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