There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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