I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
