i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
