walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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