Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
