i think i have herpe
just one?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
