ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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