i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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