Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
