Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
