she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
