We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
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he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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