There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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