hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
