We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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