she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
