I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i was born a porn star she said
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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