I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
