dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
